Sept 1-10th
Another week of pain!!! Now that I know there is a reason OUCH!! So let the drama begin, I have spent the last two years thinking I am getting old. Granted I am, but probably not aging as fast as I thought. Thank goodness because there are still things I want to do. I want to run again, would like to do a 5k still, get back to the gym again and not worry that I am doing it wrong. Through this I have lost a lot of flexibility and it causes pain to stretch. Oh to just kneel on the floor or to crouch down and get up again without an internal ordeal or shooting knives going through me. So exciting to think that will go away!! And hugs!! Poor Hubby can't even hug me a lot of the time without me screaming out or squirming cause it hurts. Sometimes the bed hurts, sitting hurts, moving hurts, standing hurts, computer time hurts, hurts to drive (bad leg is pedal leg) hurts to cross them, hurts to uncross them. Sometimes if I sit very very still, I get a little relief, but that ache like a bad toothache never really goes away. I can only describe it as an electrical current that never stops, slight vibrating constant pain, that only subsides and then intensifies.
Lower back, upper arms both (lower right arm), legs mostly the right goes all the way down and even into the top of my foot, both hips, shoulders, neck, collar bone (and yes the left one where the seat belt goes across). And then there are the bumps all over the right side of my head (and one smack in the middle of my forehead), sometimes they are bigger and aggravated, and a laying on a pillow hurts, never mind when you accidentally hit something. No I do not intentionally hit my head against things.Sometimes they are smaller and I almost forget they are there. And the head pressure, don't get up to fast makes the volume in the room, or any noise (if any) go up and down,vision gets weird. YUP not whooshing like when you have high blood pressure or ran too fast, but actual up and down. Put your hand on the radio volume dial move it so the volume goes up and down that is what my head does. Prefer to be kind of still when that happens a couple times I have been in motion for that! Not recommended! Yes none of it sounds like lymphoma. Who knew?
And all along there was a reason, two years I will never get back. Am I bitter? Nope just have to work on making up the two years pain free!!
I have also figured out this awfulness seems to be on a cycle. Last bad episode was around the 10th of August, this round right after the bone biopsy.
Dr. is away no testing or appointments just have to make it through this week and when the 11th comes we will be deciding on Chemo.
So doing my homework, overwhelming. So many choices.....so many side effects. Which one will I be lucky enough to get?
Lower back, upper arms both (lower right arm), legs mostly the right goes all the way down and even into the top of my foot, both hips, shoulders, neck, collar bone (and yes the left one where the seat belt goes across). And then there are the bumps all over the right side of my head (and one smack in the middle of my forehead), sometimes they are bigger and aggravated, and a laying on a pillow hurts, never mind when you accidentally hit something. No I do not intentionally hit my head against things.Sometimes they are smaller and I almost forget they are there. And the head pressure, don't get up to fast makes the volume in the room, or any noise (if any) go up and down,vision gets weird. YUP not whooshing like when you have high blood pressure or ran too fast, but actual up and down. Put your hand on the radio volume dial move it so the volume goes up and down that is what my head does. Prefer to be kind of still when that happens a couple times I have been in motion for that! Not recommended! Yes none of it sounds like lymphoma. Who knew?
And all along there was a reason, two years I will never get back. Am I bitter? Nope just have to work on making up the two years pain free!!
I have also figured out this awfulness seems to be on a cycle. Last bad episode was around the 10th of August, this round right after the bone biopsy.
Dr. is away no testing or appointments just have to make it through this week and when the 11th comes we will be deciding on Chemo.
So doing my homework, overwhelming. So many choices.....so many side effects. Which one will I be lucky enough to get?
Meanwhile all the support of friends, family. WOW!!
My Hubby !!! Most amazing man ever. Truly my opposite and yet my very needed other half!!
THANK YOU!!!♥
My parents have fed the family every evening that I have had an appointment (which if you remember the re-cap and even since then that is quite a few nights)
THANK YOU!!!
My daughter, who has informed me that she will not donate her blood, she will not take part in any transfusions or transplant procedures (not in the cards right now anyway) she will not hold my hair because if I am puking it will make her puke and then I would have to hold her hair because hers is longer. And of course if I lose my hair, she is more than willing to shave her brothers head.
My son, who pretty much is ok with things not "being or becoming any different" then they were before we started this road.
My daughter, who has informed me that she will not donate her blood, she will not take part in any transfusions or transplant procedures (not in the cards right now anyway) she will not hold my hair because if I am puking it will make her puke and then I would have to hold her hair because hers is longer. And of course if I lose my hair, she is more than willing to shave her brothers head.
My son, who pretty much is ok with things not "being or becoming any different" then they were before we started this road.
I have had meals delivered to us for consumption and freezing. THANK YOU!!!
And so many cards and well wishes, words of encouragement, shirts, flowers, chocolates, a quilt, bracelet's (and enough to share) and socks.
THANK YOU!!!
It is amazing how some of the simplest things can do and mean soooo much. I find that my usual easy going self is a little speechless and overwhelmed and geeze did I say THANK YOU?
I knew that support friends and family was there, but still kind of awing when you actually need it and there are no questions, no pausing they are just straight up there for you. How could THANK YOU ever cut it?
~~Tracy Lawrence~~
"Find out who your friends are"
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