Jan 23rd

Round VI ~~FINAL ROUND

So we are up early, have to be there for 8:40 meeting with the Doc too, haven't seen him since Round IV. 

Whoo Hoo FINAL ROUND. Can't say it enough. Just got to get through this one! Such a mix of emotions. Don't want to get sick, so want to be done, little apprehensive on what is next. 

Hug from Hubby, have gotten a lot of those the last few days. I am a wreck.

We are in the car, mostly quiet. Come on, come on........traffic.......UGH!!

Late but here! Port poked and now meeting with Doc. He is so positive on my reaction to treatment so far, I am uplifted. I tell him I have slightly numb fingertips, had some mouth sores, told him about the sickening last round, they decide to add another anti nausea med. to this round.

Then we talk about the future. Every 2 months I will go for Rituxan infusion for 2 years maintenance. These infusions Doc says will be easier, shouldn't make me sick, should not make me tired etc. We will do one more scan before the first one in March to see what is left :)

Sounds GREAT!! Only draw back got to leave my port in. Eh ok.

And then Doc ends it the way he always does...."What can we do for you?" This makes me tear up, they are good tears, this is it, there is nothing more they can do that they have not done already.

I am ready to head up to Infusion Bay.

Jane my nurse is back Whoo Hoo, haven't seen here since Round III and we begin.

First pre-med Pills: Tylenol
                                Ativan
                                Prednisone (Have I mentioned I hate that stuff)
                   
          Pre-med IV:  Benedryl (nigh-night)
                                Zofran
                                Decadron

            Chemo IV:   Rituxan
                                Adriamaycin
                                Vincristine
                                Cytoxan

When all that is done final Port flush then you are free to go :D

And if I felt well enough to skip out I would have. I did not. But I walked out feeling pretty darn good anyway.

Hubby says I kicked ASS!!

I could not eat my lunch so I request a cheese burger on the way home and of course he obliges......it was damn good!

~SafetySuit~
"These Times"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ3ELymrKxc

Jan 22

The Eve of Round VI

So here it is the Eve of Round VI. The final one.

How am I feeling?

Anxious.

Why?

Because the last round was not so hot and because I don't know what is next.

Will this time be as awful as last time? Gosh I hope not. I am determined to make it through this final one without losing my cookies. Yes I am worried about something I have no control over, but really what control have I had with anything in this entire situation?

Done did a lot these last few months, and tomorrow marks the end of what I consider to be the first step in what could turn out to be a multiple step battle. Probably another PET scan soon......and after that "mystery".

It was about this time of year 3 years ago when I was treated first treated for a severe headache thought to be caused by a sinus infection. HA a sinus infection I think not!! How about a cracked scull.

Cancer?

No I did not expect that one!!

Oh so long ago.

*sigh

I have felt a tinge of those achy bones this past month, hoping it is nothing. I did get my neulasta shot late by about 3 days and well it was a lousy infusion anyway so hoping maybe that is why. The achy bones are definitely not as painful or as long lasting as they had been before I started chemo. Hoping it is just paranoia. Or maybe I will always have ghostly aches.

*sigh

Will I celebrate my last chemo? YOU BET. Reservations for me and Hubby are already made for the end of February (yes waiting to get most of the chemo out of me) :) 

I will not worry about the bills coming in.

I will not worry about the ghostly aches.

I will not worry about the what the next step will be.
(although I will be sure to ask tomorrow anyway)

February we shall celebrate conquering the first step.
Completing SIX rounds of chemo.

Thoughts all over the place?
 
Yes.

8:40 am........will come to fast, and yet not fast enough.

~Lana Del Rey~

"Born to Die"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AddAcFd-SEs

Jan 2

Infusion Bay Round V

Oh the memory of yesterday and the snowy owls will get me through today. Smile.

Off in the snow for the 1 hour handle holding (well for me anyway, hubby is fine) ride. No doctor visit today, should be just straight up to Infusion Bay and hook up and transfer. 

Yeah sure.

The Dr. felt that no visit would be necessary (unless I felt I needed one) because prior visits had gone so well. Did I mention that he also called me inspiring? AGREED. But still sounds like a stretch that this will go that smooth.

Yeah we were right, not quite that smooth.

First no orders for me, that means no meds from the Pharmacy. Oh then there is that pesky detail of current blood counts. Yup we wait. But in the end all is well, counts are fine, meds are ordered, my port is drilled Round V is ready to commence.

It is awful!! Trying to sleep, but the nausea is making it difficult. Have a feeling they have upped the pace. UGH.....really no likey. But if I just stay quiet...........just try to sleep. UGH what is that smell. SOUP? Hubby has ordered me soup, and all I can think is NO NO NO that smells, I am going to toss my cookies.......is that the meds that smell like that? That is going to make me puke. Oh that nurse is wearing perfume, I am no longer breathing through my nose.

Nothing like some nausea and the threat of puking to bring the brave to their knees. If I was home I would be in bed under the covers all the way and would not come back out until that feeling was gone. Yes thankfully I don't get that kind of sickness often, maybe that is why I really don't handle it well.

Half hour more I hear her say. 

IF I DON'T MAKE IT THROUGH THIS TREATMENT WITHOUT PUKING I WILL BE ANGRY. 

And surprised.

They can't unhook me fast enough, I want out. I have to use the restroom. 

Cookies are still in place, but I am ready to leave. 

I want to go home.

Not even all the way to the car I am crying.......but I am not puking.

And he holds me tight and walks with me.

That was Round V .........fills me with dread for Round VI.

~Cold Play~

"Paradise"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G4isv_Fylg

Jan 1st

NEW YEAR

A lot can be said for a little fresh air and bird therapy. 

This day finds me out on the coldest day of this year!! Ok so maybe it is just the first day of the new year, still pretty darn cold.

Parker River Wildlife Refuge and a couple of our oldest friends. We are the foursome on the hunt for a glimpse of the Snowy Owl. He has been spotted here and sure enough it does not take us long to find him, we never made it onto the island before seeing our first one. 

I have missed this. It is cold, but the sight of these birds, the fun of trying to find them. The talking.....the walking. The walking, does not hurt and that alone, bird sightings or not is enough to make my heart happy and makes me smile. To know that tomorrow I will not be in pain makes the smile bigger.

Hubby is worried I will catch a cold, yes out on a very cold day one day before Round V. The concerned have made sure I have a good hood, keep asking if I am good to keep going. I insist I could probably out walk them all. 

I know I could.

My thoughts wander now and then to tomorrow. Bad storm predicted, please don't let them delay treatment I am so close to Round VI and ready to be done. And then that will mean the next step.

More treatment? Chemo? Radiation? Another PET scan, will it all be gone? Or will it be a wait and see? Back to the unknown. At least I have had a few months of knowing and a plan. 

So as we begin with day 1 of  2014 I had a great day, we ended the day with a total of 7 Snowy Owl sightings, 2 Eagles and a handful of our little guys.

Now onto day 2 in 2014........Infusion Bay Visit Round V and one Round away from.......done?

~Jewel~

"Down So Long"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH5bC2jTluM

Dec 12

Round IV and Unmentionables

Oh the month of December! 

There is shopping to do, Infusion Bay to visit, decorating, holiday parties and well more than I can actually comment on at this time. We shall dub it the "Lost" month.

I will round up all of Dec and round IV with.......I made it through and await Round V.

See you in January 2014

~Mindy Gledhill~ 

"Feather in the Wind"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JHX0WyKLOY