Sept 16th-22nd
Here we are the 16th time to test the ticker (heart), everything I have heard says the test is easy and fast. So worried? Nah, just a little apprehensive as before any test or procedure. All in the need for final chemo plan, ok ok ok will do.
Test was fine all done, they did not admit me so I guess it is doing what it is supposed to do. Would they tell me if it wasn't or do I have to wait until the Dr. appt. on the 25th. Waiting wins, they tell you nothing!
Sunday the 22nd is PET scan, good lord if I have to drink that drink!!! I have the urge to puke just thinking about it. Ok I have read it is an injection used for the contrast. That has to be better....right?
Ok more apprehension.
And so the technician explains the test, injection blah blah blah.....sit and wait blah blah blah.........lay down in the big machine blah blah blah. Nothing earth shattering, seems pretty much the same as the CT scan only no gross stuff to drink :). And of course no test day is complete without no answers. But they did not admit me so that must be a good sign.
And so another week will pass tests will be done and I will begin to ponder what chemo has in store for me. Will I lose all my hair? Will I care? Will others care? Will the bumps be unsightly? Will I care? I have a feeling they are creepy looking. Researching some of the meds the Dr mentioned as possibilities. Amazing stuff yet scary all at the same time. Writing down my questions for next visit like:where is the "fracture in my scull?" (yes I am finally going to find out, this was probably what those horrendous headaches were from way back when) "how many rounds will I have?" (although I don't think that one can be answered until we know what the medicine is for sure.
I have decided to go with Chemo will probably kick my ass, that way I am ready for it. But I really don't mind if it does not. I don't like the sounds of all that nausea. Even before all this I have never been a fan of nausea and have slept through it whenever possible even in the case of an ordinary bout of sickness. Maybe I can just do that, sleep through it, but then everyone may take that as I am depressed etc. I am not depressed I am just nauseous, let me sleep and no one gets dirty, or sick.
Next stop 25th will Chemo be set or will the tests show something that will make it impossible? Sorry I know that is negative, but you know you would think it too if it were you. I don't have any bad vibes like before with the other stuff, just a little worried.
Perfectly normal worrying!!
~Band of Horses~
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