Oct 3rd

So again dinner at my parents yesterday after the implant! So spoiled me and my family are! Not to mention the wonderful flower basket that I awoke to find on my doorstep from an Aunt. (Note to self-when they say no lifting for a couple of weeks, there is a reason, don't worry I am fine)

So today is recoup day I am banned to the house, but have a plan to break out later in the day....ssshhh. I figure if I am quiet all day a little ride to hang out with some awesome people should be ok. I won't over do. 

My chest is sore as is my arm, things are red and purple, but no blood oozing out so that is good. HATE THE TAPE!! Just have to mention that because you know what I am talking about, EVERYONE hates the tape!! I have to leave it on for three days, no shower until then either. Then I can rip it off, counting the minutes etc.

Today marks the one week countdown until first Chemo! Sitting quiet makes the mind start wandering. Closing in fast now! Nervous and excited. 

Will I be one of the ones with a scary reaction and not be able to proceed?

A part of me is afraid that killing off my cells will make my marrow work harder to make more and what if that is what makes me hurt now? 

Will I be sick, nauseous, tired and in pain? NNNOOO please no! 

So those of you that may worry about me and how I am doing, know that I am ok and I am ready even with my slight apprehension, I am ready. Don't fear that I will chicken out, or back out, and every day until that day I will work on mentally being stronger and work on squeezing out the uncertainty.

When you lose 2 years, a possible few months of chemo doesn't seem so overwhelming, especially when there is a chance you will be you again.

So I shall do it, head high and hand held by Hubby.

Life is for living!

~The Passengers~
"Life's for the Living"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl2GwLtMX7s