Nov. 21
Round III
And then before I knew it, Aunt Flow was gone and it was time for Round III. The mid-way marker treatment.
That is if we go with the fact that the usual treatment is six Rounds of R-CHOP for what I have. (fingers crossed that is what we are doing here)
Seems like some reflection is in order here.
Why?
Because I am feeling frustrated as I watch my body bloat up to where I started with my workouts 2 years ago. Because the last Med they put in the IV drip sucks and I don't like the way it makes my sinus's feel. Because Benny the first one in the IV sucks too, even if it gives me the giggles. Because 5 days of Prednisone sucks and still makes me jittery (and moody from the looks from the family) also think it leaves me winded. And because the way the nurse dresses up and covers up and has to protect all her skin tells me that red Med they also give me is probably a sucky one too, (but honestly I only notice it turns my urine pink for a little while). The anti-nausea drugs block things up like a dam and drinking gallons of water does not seem to help. And of course the Kidney protection pill, I think it makes you have to go more.........during the night...........and that sucks too. I also think the IV pumps the body with air too (yes by what comes back out, BAD air). And heartburn yucky heartburn. The Neulasta shot hurts and causes minor bone pain for a very short time and that sucks. Feeling slow in the hustle and bustle of the season sucks.
Yes I guess half way through is not an unusual time to get tired and aggravated and well UGH (thankfully I looked it up, I am normal) (well the usual me kind of normal)!!
But does this mean I am giving up? No just got to let the world know Chemo sucks, and I know it could be worse. I could be sick to my stomach, curled in a ball or sleeping 24-7 (although I don't think so with preddi). I could be hugging the porcelain bowl and not able to leave the house. I should be grateful that I can leave and move and only slightly nauseous at times. 7 days down is NOT bad, my mind knows that, but does not comprehend.
So let me remember and relish in the good
Benny gives me the giggles
Sleeping is comfy even at Infusion Bay
Tumors are DOWN big time (nothing alien looking left)
Round III is a precursor to PET scan to see what is left in marrow :)
I have not lost sleep because my body can't touch the furniture
I don't need Aleeve or Ibuprofen around the clock
I banged my head and for the first time in a long time....it did not really hurt
NO knee pain at all, NO brace
NO hip pain
NO arm pain
NO excruciating wake me and keep me up leg or arm pain
Collar bone is almost as normal as the other side, seat belt doesn't hurt it any more! (however the port on the other side doesn't like the seat belt)
I don't NEED shoulder rubs (but won't turn them down if offered)
I can hug and be squished
I can move my head and it does not hurt
I no longer get that pressure in my head when I stand up
& volume up and down in my ears GONE (that one was getting really bad and scary)
Vision, well lets just say I think I will still need readers
I don't need the anti Nausea meds past Saturday and I only take one kind on Friday and Saturday (I have been perscribed 3)
I may actually finish my totally knitted wool blanket this year
And Hubby is here to remind me....when I get all weepy and yucky (yes it happens).
He asks me if my hips hurt........I got to say no.
Did I have to take any med for pain......I got to say no.
Did I get to sleep...........I got to say yes (except of course when I gots to go)
Then he hugs me and squishes me.....kisses me on my partially bald head.....it does not hurt. That makes me want to cry too, just because something as simple as that doesn't hurt anymore. How could I have forgotten how such a simple thing not so long ago was soooo painful.
Why is it so easy to forget? Maybe I just focus too much on the now. Running for the finish line without wanting to run the race. I am impatient and ready to be done with this mess. So when I am not feeling very good, or am tired and things are getting me down, I have to remember how far I have come already. It took 2 years to get that bad, gonna take a little longer than a couple months to get back to good.
*Sigh
Slow down and enjoy the ride, even with all its bumps, turns and crappy stuff.....keep your chin up buttercup, you still got some work to do!
~Taylor Swift~
"Safe and Sound"
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